


The Stars are a Lie We Tell Our Children

by Charm2999



Series: Post Endgame [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2020-02-09 16:32:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18641872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charm2999/pseuds/Charm2999
Summary: ---- MAJOR SPOILERS FOR END GAME --- SCROLL AWAY IF YOU DONT WANT SPOILERS ----They say pain demands to be felt but no one said it needs to be felt alone.





	The Stars are a Lie We Tell Our Children

The first time Harley met Peter it was at the funeral. He stood back as he watched Pepper walk the wreath out to the lake Tony had loved so much and he had forced himself to stand tall and remind himself that the father, he had lost would not have wanted to see him breakdown. Peter had stood tall, probably thinking the same thing he had but the moment the wreath floated further across that water he could see Peter’s shoulders begin to shake. He didn’t know what to do, to say, it was as if the world had been pulled out from underneath him and he knew the boy in front of him probably felt the same way. It took him a moment to realize that his face was wet with tears but by then it was too late to hold them back. They wouldn’t stop after that. They couldn’t. All he could remember was the broken man he had found in his shed trying to put himself back together as a child and the man he was when he showed up at his home five years ago and pulled him out of the hell he was in after his entire family had turned to dust before his eyes. Within a day he was orphaned and alone, back then it had been Tony who had saved him. Given him a shelter and a home, a life, and a family. If… If it hadn’t been for Tony Stark, he would have lost himself among the ashes and he would have never recovered. Now, right when he had gotten them back, right when life seemed to give them a win and hope, he had to watch the only father he’d ever have be put to rest. He had been his hero, his mentor, his home and now … now he was gone and once again he was lost. He didn’t see Peter Parker for a long time after that day, but he couldn’t help but to wonder if the kid felt as lost without his mentor as he did.

 

For months after the funeral, he had been at a loss, forcing his way forward trying to get a handle of the confusion his life had become. On one hand, his mother and sister were alive and well and safe, and he could finally stopped living every day wondering what it would be like to have them there. On the other hand, he wasn’t the Harley they had left behind. Five years change a man and he was not the same kid he had been when they were disintegrated out of existence. He loved them more than ever, but lord knows he didn’t belong with them. He couldn’t. So instead he had moved back to New York and into the tower under the guise of finishing high school at the private school Tony had set him up at. He had run from one empty home to the tower five years earlier, trying to run away from the memory of a family he had lost to a family he had found for himself and now he was doing it again. Tennessee reminded him of nothing but pain now, because no one there could understand the hell he was living. Everyone was in a state of endless joy, their world and happiness had returned to them with the people they had lost. But that wasn’t the case for him. No one understood the loss he felt, the pain, the heartache. Tennessee wasn’t his home anymore and his family wasn’t the family he needed, at least not right now.  

 

When Pepper had asked him if he wanted to move back to the tower, he recognized the real question in her voice. She was asking him to come home, she had already lost so much he knew losing him would break her and he knew living without her would destroy him. She was a second mother to him, the one who had held him together and forced him back on his feet when he had wanted nothing but sadness and depression. He wouldn’t abandon her, and he knew she wouldn’t abandon him. He remembered smiling softly as he picked up Morgan and placed her on his hip as he said he’d come back to New York as soon as he could. He had kept that promise, he had pacified his mom, told his sister just how much he loved her, assured himself that they were alive and well. Then, when the time was right, he bought himself a ticket to New York.

 

Happy had picked him up from the airport with a sad smile and a tight hug and he had barely managed to keep it together. He was proud of himself for that.

 

He broke the moment he saw Pepper. She was standing strong, staring out across the skyline of New York and what had been the tarmac for Iron Man. The penthouse had been gutted and remodelled but they both knew that wouldn’t erase the memory of him from its rooms. Pepper had smiled softly at him, reaching out to hug him. He held her tightly as she cried on his shoulder, finally putting away the strong walls she had held up so tightly. Her son would not judge her for her weakness, she knew that well enough and he was thankful for it. It was the first time in months that he had honestly cried, and he realized that he had been holding up the same strong front she had. Their family had broken, their world had shattered, and they were alone.

 

Eventually their sobbing had ceased, and their tears dried, finally a calm settled over them and they pulled apart. Pepper smiled softly as she wiped away the tears on his face before wiping away her own.

 

“The labs, he left them to the two of you. His… I left it as it is… I… You’re so much like him and I know that you’ll need it. The solace of it all.” She was right. Tony had instilled it into him in the years he had lived with him, to work through his feelings in the lab, on his machines and on his projects. That eventually, the world would fall away and the machines around him would sing and then, finally then, he’d be able to pull his head above water and things would feel better. Part of him didn’t know if he could stomach going down there right now and the other wanted more than anything to be buried elbow deep in circuits and coding.  

 

“Yeah… I don’t… I don’t know if I can. Maybe he…” His words died out on his tongue before he could say anything after all he didn’t know what he would want. He didn’t know him. He was as good as a myth that Tony told Morgan about as a bedtime story and occasionally mentioned when he’s had one glass too many. At this point he couldn’t help but to wonder if he was ever even going to see the kid again.

 

“I saw him a few days ago, he came to visit, he’s… he’s trying. Maybe-“

 

“Maybe one day.” He finished the sentence for her before she got the chance. He wasn’t ready he knew that from the look in her eyes when she mentioned him. And he wasn’t ready either. As much as he loved her he didn’t need her to find him a friend right now, he didn’t need a friend, or a superhero, he didn’t need Spiderman. What he needed was his father. But he couldn’t have him. He couldn’t bring him back. No matter how much he wished that he could.

 

Pepper had nodded and smiled back at him, dropping the subject before reaching up to kiss his forehead softly.

 

“Go to bed Harley, it’s been a long, long few months, I think a night’s rest in your own bed will be good for you.” He smiled and nodded, and with a promise of waking up to have breakfast with her and Morgan, he made his way down the hall and to his room. He heard the elevator close behind him and he knew Pepper was gone, off to her own floor and to Morgan. She didn’t have the heart to stay up here with him but he didn’t have the heart to be anywhere else. He took solace in the fact that they weren’t far from reach but far enough that he could allow himself the ability to break down without fear that they would break with him.

 

It was another month before he saw Peter Parker again. It was so late at night that Harley couldn’t help but to wonder if there was even a point of going to sleep tonight, it took every ounce of willpower he had not to run to the lab and bury himself in a project in the hope that it might drown out the screaming thoughts in his mind. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he thought he had imagined the sound of a landing on the tarmac. He almost ignored it but couldn’t help himself when he asked Friday what that sound might be. The sound of his name from the AI was enough to pull him out of bed and out into the living-room. It was a chilly September night and he groaned as he pulled the hoodie on over his head before making his way out into the blowing winds knowing that he might not be a superhero, but he didn’t need to be one to know when someone was in need of help.

 

The kid didn’t even turn to look at him as he approached, his eyes were trained up at the sky as he sat against the wall of the tower, his knees pulled up to his chest and his mind as far away from New York as it could possibly be. Harley ran a hand through his hair as he took in the lost expression in the other boys’ eyes and sighed before taking a seat next to him.

 

“Do you want to talk about it.” Harley asked softly, his own eyes looking up at the bright moon those shone down on them that night and away from the kid next to him.  Their silence stretched on between them after that, their minds both floating away on their own memories of the man they had lost. It was a long time before Peter broke that silence.

 

“When my mom and dad died my uncle told me they turned into stars. When he died, I realized that it was all just dumb bullshit people tell kids so that they feel less like shit when good people die.” Peter finally said, his eyes still trained up on the night sky.

 

“It is bullshit.” Harley agreed.

 

“It was something to believe in. I don’t have that anymore. I have nothing to believe in. No one to believe in. For a second there I wasn’t alone anymore and…” He choked on his sobs before he could even finish the sentence and somehow the truth of it hurt twice as much when he had to hear it from him.

 

“I… I know. Trust me… I know.” Harley whispered, the tears once again collecting in his eyes as he looked up at that endless sky and wished he could force himself to believe that he really was up there watching over them. He didn’t know what it was that made him do it, but he couldn’t help but reaching over and pulling the other boy towards himself. Peter didn’t bother to put up a fight, he let himself be pulled in, let himself be tucked under Harley’s arm and cry onto his shoulder and for the first time in months Peter let himself mourn.

 

“He loved you. He really did. I always regretted not being able to meet you. You… You were the only regret he had. At least. At least he died without that.” Harley whispered as Peter pulled his knee’s tighter against his chest and cried harder than he thought possible.

 

“I- It’s just not fair.” He cried out, his eyes looking up as though he was glaring more at the cosmos then he was at the cruelty of it all.

 

“No. It’s not.” Harley whispered; his voice hoarse as he wiped the tears from his eyes. He couldn’t help but to lean back, his head hitting the wall with slightly to much force as he regarded the night sky above him. “It’s not fair. Fuck, nothing… Nothing about _this_ is fair. Fuck I just… I just wish he was here so fucking badly. He… when he said goodbye before the mission, I didn’t want to believe it, that this is how it could go. I… I knew there was a chance but fuck I…I would have told him how much he meant to me. I … He was the father I never had and-“

 

“And now there’s nothing. No hope, no future… there’s nothing.” Peter added. Harley nodded; his heart heavy as it finally sank in.

 

“It’s never going to stop hurting is it?” Harley asked softly once Peters sobbing finally diminished and he was finally able to breathe again.

 

“No, not really,” Peter replied.

 

“Great. Just great.” Harley groaned as he turned to look at the boy next to him.

 

“When… When my uncle died, I was completely alone. My aunt she needed me to be strong but I… It was lonely.” Peter explained as if it provided some sort of explanation for his response, but Harley couldn’t help but to scoff.

 

“Well, at least there’s a positive. At least this time you don’t have to be alone.” His smile didn’t quite reach his eyes, but Peter smiled softly back at him, his hand reaching up to the arm still wrapped around his shoulder and squeezing it comfort.

 

“Yeah.” He replied softly.

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't get this out of my head so I wrote it as some sort of catharsis I hope I'm not the only one feeling this.


End file.
